Death, when it takes us

I asked my dad a few days ago, randomly, how did he feel like when he learnt that my grandfather passed away. You could tell that there was a certain uneasiness in his voice. I suddenly regretted asking my father the question.

When I was Primary 2, my grandfather passed away. I remember the moment very vivdly. My family and I were all having dinner when we recieved a call. My dad picked it up with his usual "hello" but he did not end it with the usual "bye". Even then, at a young age of 8, I could see pain overwhelming my dad's face. He said in a low voice in chinese, "我的父亲去世了".

8 years have passed, and obviously the death of my grandfather still stings my father. Needless to say, I didn't probe any further. However, it got me thinking..

How would I take it if my father passed away? You could say I'm a daddy's girl. I'm very close to my father, he's the one that scolds me, signs my report book, buys me stuff, argues with my mum for me.. all that kind of stuff..

I kept thinking and thinking and my mind wandered off to wondering what will happen after one dies? We will all cease to exsist. Buried deep in earth. Is there such thing as heaven and hell? Everything I've done in my lifetime, gone. Like that, I will not be able to change it, or enjoy it. If you come to think of it, the lifespan of an average person is 70 years old. 70 years isn't alot.

You could say, I am afraid of death. I am very very afraid of death. The thought of me not exsisting anyone scares me.
:O

But then again... If I live for forever, life will be meaningless and then no one will treasure their life span.


People are difficult to satisfy :/

XOXO